I've been told I'm one of the most entertaining people some have ever met in person. I've been told I'm extremely talented but have yet to do anything with it. I've been told I'm a great guy and I've been told that I'm an asshole. At the risk of being totally self-absorbed, to all of those I say, "I have to agree." Now just because I agree doesn't mean I will never do anything with my talent. It's taken me 45 years to learn my worth and build up my self-esteem enough to stop hiding from my own light and just fucking let it shine. The more I write the more I learn that I haven't learned to tell my stories
in writing as I do much more entertaining in person. I'm just a fucking better story teller in person. First of all, I'm 6'5" tall, about 255 lbs, not too hard on the eyes and I've been told I can walk into a room and light it up or drag it down with the pure presence of my energy. I'm also very physically animated when talking and ramble endlessly when I'm in a group of people.
I went out last night with one of my best friends. We've known each other for just over 3 years now and have been playing softball together in an "all inviting" league almost as long. The league is predominately gay but invites everyone from all sexual orientations. For example, he is straight and I am...well...somewhere close to 10 on a scale of 1-10 of gayness.
For a change, we went to the Dust Bowl for a Friday night. It's a new but retro styled bowling alley in downtown Tulsa that's designed with refurbished wood lanes for tables and 12 foot high doors. It's really awesome! You need to check it out. I haven't bowled there yet but I have sat at the bar a few times laughing my ass off as well as out on the patio on the astro-turf covered coaches and seating pods. Yup. You heard it. Astro-turf. Very cool. There's retro video games and wall sized windows behind the bar looking out into the Tulsa skyline in the Blue Dome district.
It's hard to get a word in edgewise with me sometimes but when it's just me and one other person, it's nearly impossible. My poor buddy was my captured audience of one but he seemed to be entertained enough not to tell me to "shut up already". He's not that type anyway. On the way up to the DB he and I had an intense discussion and so I promised to keep it lite the rest of the night. And I did.
I told positive uplifting stories about the gratitude I have for all the kindness and good people I've had in my life to help through and balance out the hardest of times. I rambled on further telling him a story about when me, my long term partner while in college, and two other really close friends, (Mary and John). We were the four Musketeers back then and we did almost everything together. We made long, relaxing, wine indulgent dinners at home, took road trips, weekend vacations on sail boats, watched movies and went out to eat together as well as go out to local pubs together. At one point, my ex, we'll call him L, myself and Mary all lived together with her partner at the time, Mudd. That was her nickname. Mudd. I don't remember why that was her nickname but she was one of the cutest Tomboys with surfer blond hair and blue eyes who played golf and had a flair for life and new experiences. Mary was my favorite adorable Tomboy of all time. She had one of the best hearts of most people I've ever met. She was a shorter and less blonde, shoulder length haired version of Mudd with smiling blue eyes.
Mary was the type of person that girls wanted to be best friends with and maybe have sex with (it was college) and she had the equally powerful spell over men without any manipulative wing of bat and leg of toad potions. She was smart, funny and soooo easy to be around. Like an Ellen of the early 90's but better.
One of the stories I told my buddy that night at the DB was about one of the sailing trips that us four Musketeers took from Long Beach, California to Catalina Island of the California Coast. It's about 10 miles from Long Beach so the sail would take at few hours and once we were on the boat, we were on vacation and we were excited. It was mostly a three day weekend but it could have been two days or even a day sail, as long as we were all together, we always had some of the most fun that I've ever had in my life.
Along our trip across the ocean on one of these sailing trips, we loaded up the cabin with enough food to feed four very well for about three days and John was an excellent cook even with a BBQ that hung over the edge of boat threatening to fall over anytime. As we made our way, soaking up the sun on the deck having adult beverages, we saw a school of dolphins following us and swimming through our wake. It was amazing! An experience that most people will never witness in person. The whole weekend was full of these moments really. At another point we stopped motoring and sailing altogether and just floated while we took turns jumping into the deep, dark, blue ocean. It made me want to shit my pants because I was absolutely positive that a shark was going to come up and bite me in half but only after he dragged me through the water with my body hanging out of his mouth. That's how afraid of sharks I am. I know, big puss. But wait, there's more. One of my other greatest fear's is falling from the sky from either a plane crash or skydiving or base jumping and hitting the earth or ocean and splattering into nothingness over a three mile radius. NOW, even worse would be falling from the sky, and landing in the ocean half dead and then a fucking shark comes up from the deep and eats my bloody ass or whatever's left of me. NOW THAT my friends would hurt. Lol.
Well, fortunately none of that happened during this particular sailing trip. Instead, we went snorkeling off the coast of Catalina once we connected to a mooring and anchored. While on my second deep breath and dive, I was down about eight feet under water and visibility was about 20 to 25 feet. I saw a few fish but no real coral to speak of but what I saw next swimming in front of me in the opposite direction that God? It was a huge Manta Ray with a 15 foot wingspan. Possibly the most amazing experience I've ever, ever had. If not number one, very, very close. Just me and the Manta Ray swimming near each other in the deep ocean. Breath-fucking-taking!
The rest of the weekend was more relaxing, amazing, fantastic than I could ever imagine before but it changed my life and opened me up to a whole new world. A world of adventure, trust, daring, love, adrenaline flooding through my body and beauty that these three people, three of my best friends ever shared with me. I am forever grateful and lucky to have had a few more of these trips during the three plus years I was with L. He was the sailor and licensed boat captain and gave me some of the first truly amazing romantic memories that blew me away...and that's not an easy task. Although he and parted ways, he was a great man and friend and I'll forever miss him. We changed one another's life in more ways than we ever anticipated, and all of these memories are all better in person.