Better In Person!!

I've been told I'm one of the most entertaining people some have ever met in person. I've been told I'm extremely talented but have yet to do anything with it. I've been told I'm a great guy and I've been told that I'm an asshole. At the risk of being totally self-absorbed, to all of those I say, "I have to agree."  Now just because I agree doesn't mean I will never do anything with my talent. It's taken me 45 years to learn my worth and build up my self-esteem enough to stop hiding from my own light and just fucking let it shine.  The more I write the more I learn that I haven't learned to tell my stories
in writing as I do much more entertaining in person. I'm just a fucking better story teller in person. First of all, I'm 6'5" tall, about 255 lbs, not too hard on the eyes and I've been told I can walk into a room and light it up or drag it down with the pure presence of my energy. I'm also very physically animated when talking and ramble endlessly when I'm in a group of people.

I went out last night with one of my best friends. We've known each other for just over 3 years now and have been playing softball together in an "all inviting" league almost as long. The league is predominately gay but invites everyone from all sexual orientations. For example, he is straight and I am...well...somewhere close to 10 on a scale of 1-10 of gayness.

For a change, we went to the Dust Bowl for a Friday night. It's a new but retro styled bowling alley in downtown Tulsa that's designed with refurbished wood lanes for tables and 12 foot high doors. It's really awesome! You need to check it out. I haven't bowled there yet but I have sat at the bar a few times laughing my ass off as well as out on the patio on the astro-turf covered coaches and seating pods. Yup. You heard it. Astro-turf. Very cool. There's retro video games and wall sized windows behind the bar looking out into the Tulsa skyline in the Blue Dome district.

It's hard to get a word in edgewise with me sometimes but when it's just me and one other person, it's nearly impossible. My poor buddy was my captured audience of one but he seemed to be entertained enough not to tell me to "shut up already". He's not that type anyway. On the way up to the DB he and I had an intense discussion and so I promised to keep it lite the rest of the night. And I did.

I told positive uplifting stories about the gratitude I have for all the kindness and good people I've had in my life to help through and balance out the hardest of times. I rambled on further telling him a story about when me, my long term partner while in college, and two other really close friends, (Mary and John). We were the four Musketeers back then and we did almost everything together. We made long, relaxing, wine indulgent dinners at home, took road trips, weekend vacations on sail boats, watched movies and went out to eat together as well as go out to local pubs together. At one point, my ex, we'll call him L, myself and Mary all lived together with her partner at the time, Mudd. That was her nickname. Mudd. I don't remember why that was her nickname but she was one of the cutest Tomboys with surfer blond hair and blue eyes who played golf and had a flair for life and new experiences. Mary was my favorite adorable Tomboy of all time. She had one of the best hearts of most people I've ever met. She was a shorter and less blonde, shoulder length haired version of Mudd with smiling blue eyes.

Mary was the type of person that girls wanted to be best friends with and maybe have sex with (it was college) and she had the equally powerful spell over men without any manipulative wing of bat and leg of toad potions. She was smart, funny and soooo easy to be around. Like an Ellen of the early 90's but better.

One of the stories I told my buddy that night at the DB was about one of the sailing trips that us four Musketeers took from Long Beach, California to Catalina Island of the California Coast. It's about 10 miles from Long Beach so the sail would take at few hours and once we were on the boat, we were on vacation and we were excited. It was mostly a three day weekend but it could have been two days or even a day sail, as long as we were all together, we always had some of the most fun that I've ever had in my life.

Along our trip across the ocean on one of these sailing trips, we loaded up the cabin with enough food to feed four very well for about three days and John was an excellent cook even with a BBQ that hung over the edge of boat threatening to fall over anytime. As we made our way, soaking up the sun on the deck having adult beverages, we saw a school of dolphins following us and swimming through our wake. It was amazing! An experience that most people will never witness in person. The whole weekend was full of these moments really. At another point we stopped motoring and sailing altogether and just floated while we took turns jumping into the deep, dark, blue ocean. It made me want to shit my pants because I was absolutely positive that a shark was going to come up and bite me in half but only after he dragged  me through the water with my body hanging out of his mouth. That's how afraid of sharks I am. I know, big puss. But wait, there's more. One of my other greatest fear's is falling from the sky from either a plane crash or skydiving or base jumping and hitting the earth or ocean and splattering into nothingness over a three mile radius. NOW, even worse would be falling from the sky, and landing in the ocean half dead and then a fucking shark comes up from the deep and eats my bloody ass or whatever's left of me. NOW THAT my friends would hurt. Lol.

Well, fortunately none of that happened during this particular sailing trip. Instead, we went snorkeling off the coast of Catalina once we connected to a mooring and anchored. While on my second deep breath and dive, I was down about eight feet under water and visibility was about 20 to 25 feet. I saw a few fish but no real coral to speak of but what I saw next swimming in front of me in the opposite direction that God? It was a huge Manta Ray with a 15 foot wingspan. Possibly the most amazing experience I've ever, ever had. If not number one, very, very close. Just me and the Manta Ray swimming near each other in the deep ocean. Breath-fucking-taking!

The rest of the weekend was more relaxing, amazing, fantastic than I could ever imagine before but it changed my life and opened me up to a whole new world. A world of adventure, trust, daring, love, adrenaline flooding through my body and beauty that these three people, three of my best friends ever shared with me. I am forever grateful and lucky to have had a few more of these trips during the three plus years I was with L. He was the sailor and licensed boat captain and gave me some of the first truly amazing romantic memories that blew me away...and that's not an easy task. Although he and parted ways, he was a great man and friend and I'll forever miss him. We changed one another's life in more ways than we ever anticipated, and all of these memories are all better in person.

Midnight at the Oasis

So, for my first blogg here on http://whatnowsucka.blogger.com I'm writing about my fun and shitty night last night (no scat involved but loottttsss of alcohol) at our local gay watering hole here in Tulsa. My partner and I planned on having a home-made, quiet dinner last night after a somewhat challenging day yesterday when he told me that one of our friends had called and was coming over with a bottle of wine about 8:30 (pm). I asked if he was going to be eating dinner with us and then remembered that our friend doesn't like chicken but loves his wine. It's been snowing here like we're in the North Pole and everywhere else in the fucking country for about two weeks now. Life has been restricted to trips to the supermarket and gas station, then BAM! the snow falls for two days and during those two days you're pretty much stuck at home so you better have everything you need muthafucka and really like who you live with and where you are. Fortunately, I do but last night, it seems like our freakin phones wouldn't stop ringing. Why can't we get phones to stop ringing when the roads are frozen over. Seems easy enough. Maybe I should live out in the woods on my families land where there is NO reception at all. Completely offff the grid.

I had already thrown the chicken in the oven, potatoes were a boiling and was enjoying a glass of Chiante' (check spelling) that my man had in the closet for at least five years but lucky for us it was fine. Considering we don't have a wine cellar or storage, we've gotten pretty lucky. So, my cell buzzes with a text from a good friend of mine who also plays on my softball team asking, "whats up tonight?" Since lately, I've learned I have to have surgery on my rotator cuff (right) and have a spur up in there too and have been having issues and pain with my texting thumbs, I've decided to actually start picking up my phone and calling people. Voice to voice. It's quicker and more fucking personal than all these gosh dam texts that I hate anyway. He told me he had his sister and friend with them but I told them that we were having dinner but to come on over there was plenty of food. They had a party to go first then we would see them at our place. So, if you're counting, that's four additional people coming to our place. Then once our first friend shows up right as we begin to eat he tells us he invited a new friend of his to come over too (now 5) and hoped it was okay. It was. Always is. Anyway, then I was told we were not just going to go to our local watering hole but we were going to go to a few and jump around bars starting with the beautiful Mayo rooftop bar, which I really like but its just so expensive there. So, being the control freak that I am I needed to know exactly what the plan was because even though I love surprises, I guess I only like certain kinds. So, as everyone arrived, we all seem to be in a good mood but I was getting tired and all the kids seemed to be wired from being pent up all week. Two of them were wrestling around the living room while I was getting changed but just before then, two of our cells rang at once with a text from another good friend of ours who's flight just landed and he was looking for something to do. We told him our plan and then half of us went to the LWH (local watering hole) and the rest of us went to the Mayo.

More in bit...

Part II

We arrived at the Mayo in downtown Tulsa and it was beautiful. The main lobby is about three stories high with draped marble walls and an Art Deco updated style. We went to the Penthouse and after assessing the hot guys in the room who may or may not be gay, I found a seating area for us in front of a large screen t.v. to watch part of the game. Utah and Arizona were playing so I wasn't that interested but it was a good distraction. I had a Capn' and Coke and Chauncy had one of the best Cosmo's I've ever tasted. Mid-way through our drink I had to admit that I was really enjoying myself in a smoke free completely new environment. Too bad the roof top was filled with snow and cold out so we couldn't really enjoy the view of downtown from the 18th or 20th floor.

Arriving at the Eagle there was still snow everywhere and I almost slipped and fell on my ass because I chose the wrong shoes by trying to wear my dress shoes and be a bit more fancy for the evening since we were going to a nice hotel bar and there aren't very many opportunities here for one to dress up.

The bar was the smokiest I've ever seen it even while just walking in so we grabbed a drink and headed for the semi-circled couches up near the DJ booth near the dancers because there seems to be less smoke in that area. Everyone started drinking alot and having fun but others were having a tough time joining in. By the time everything started getting really crazy, I opted out and went home while the others went to a friend's house and had after hours drinks. Telling by the way I felt the next morning, I'm glad I went home vs. going out to have even more drinks than the seven that I did have. ;-)

This was boring I know but I decided I would just write something/anything as my first blog to get the juices flowing again.

Thanks for hanging in there.
Bryan